Gratitude diaries- 8

I didn't really have much of grandparents' presence in my life. Although three grandparents were alive when I was a child, we could really have them (or any relatives, for that matter) around, because of my mother's illness. Mrs Sivaramkrishnan was perhaps the closest I had for a grandmother figure. She was the wife of a senior of my father. She loved kids and young people and loved having them around. When we moved to Bombay, I was a part of a group of kids she liked and often invited home. We all enjoyed going to her place, because she lived on the 19th floor, which none of us did. There weren't that many skyscrapers in those days (early 90s) and we certainly didn't know anyone who lived on such high a floor. It was fun to go on the balcony and look down to see tiny buses and people and cars moving around. Also, she could always be counted upon to give us something nice to eat. She has a signature drink which we made for us- it was made from strawberry crush and we loved it. She had many young friends like ourselves, of various ages, but I think I was her favourite. She really made it a point to make me feel like part of her family. She called me over to hang out when her sons were visiting with their families. She took us out on some occasions. She asked me to come to the airport to see her off when she was travelling to the US. She enjoyed my company and would get upset if several months went by without me dropping in on her. She was very well travelled and I enjoyed hearing of her experiences.
She was very supportive when I came back after my first term in Ahmedabad in tears, saying that it was too difficult and that I couldn't cope. She made me wait while she disappeared outside her home. She came back with a young lady, who was another of her friends. This girl was an alumna of IIM and she told me that it was really difficult for everyone and that I should hang on.
When I was getting married, I invited her for the reception because only family was being invited for the ceremonies. She asked me if she could attend the ceremony because she wanted to be part of it. She was there with me for much of the wedding day, right up there on the stage with my family and closest friends and then later again in the evening for the reception. She called me the day after, to check if I was doing fine, when I was at my in-laws place- the bride surrounded by new relatives.
I was heartbroken when she was diagnosed with cancer later in the year. I didn't realise how fond I was of her till it was time to lose her. At first she didn't want to see or talk to anyone after her diagnosis. I kept track of her health by calling her husband frequently. In a couple of months, she let her husband know that I could drop by and see her. She underwent a surgery and chemotherapy. I did not go to see her in hospital as I was really busy with work and anyway I dislike hospitals. My sister went. Being a doctor she is stronger and more used to things like these. She reported back to me that auntie looked really ill and was not able to talk, so it's better I did not go to see her as I would have probably howled. No doubt I would have. For a time, she recovered well and it seemed like she had beaten the cancer. i went to see her at home and she did look well, though she was a lot thinner. She told me that she understood why I hadn't visited in the hospital, that it would have been too much for me. But in some time the doctors discovered new spread of cancer. She told me over the phone that it was bad news. I went to see her for what turned out to be the last time. She knew at this visit that she was dying but still acted as normal as possible, apart from a short breakdown. She died soon after. I cried buckets when I heard.
I loved her. She is the only person that I have loved who I have lost to death. I'm sure she looks down on me with fondness and love, wherever she is. Thank you aunty for your love, affection, friendship and company for several years.